I will wear thick yarn in my hair
& bells on my ankles
turning & turning & turning
with abandon until my brain
can't keep up with my body.
I will spend my days outside, drawing,
charcoal adorning my hands like smudged henna patterns
while the sun warms my bones
& the scent of spiderwort & belladonna tickle my nares.
I will let my leg hairs grow wild,
feel the breeze gently move them
like the blades of sedge in a Midwest prairie.
I will rip my clothes
& tear my knees,
skip in the rain,
my mascara painting my face
in primitive design.
I will wail to the depths of my marrow in grief
& sing loudly in praise of joy in my off-key garble
holding a note until my chest heaves from its concavity.
I slept last night.
I wish I slept like that baby
draped over her parent's arm--
drooling, sweating,
with absolutely no muscle tone.
Oh, to sleep like that again!
Perhaps I could report on the worlds I visited,
of faeries & elves,
romantic sagas,
steamy interludes or chilling encounters,
fantasies that gleam in their retelling.
If only I dreamed.
Maybe I could sleep
poised across a feinting divan
dressed in silk, wearing house slippers,
hair & make up undisturbed,
no need for a cover,
all sexy like Lauren Bacall.
Ah, we all need a cover, really.
What if in the twistings & turnings
of last night's acrobatics
I had actually worked out
the solution to a weighty problem,
it's outcome affecting scores....no, 100's of people.
Or I could say that I slept like
10,000 dragons were fighting for dominance
in an epic war that would decide fate itself.
It sounds important & dramatic,
however fitful.
Ah well, at least
I slept last night.
If I stay here....
How many ribbons will we throw to the sky
to watch their dazzling descent
as they're tossed, current to current,
tracing figure 8's & graceful line drawings
until they gently greet the earth
in willowy nests?
There's an ache deep between my shoulders
that gets me through washing the floors,
picking up dog poop,
& negotiating car repairs.
It carries me across the
gulfs of unspoken conversations,
ignored aspirations,
& unacknowledged conflict.
Props me up against my own bones
keeping me upright for
early mornings & late nights.
My mother & grandmother had this ache
right between their shoulders.
It reaches out across generations,
laundry clips on the line of life,
securing us to its vagaries
until it wears out
releasing us to drift away
in the wind.
